Friday, September 16, 2011

My Baby Trek


I was trying to find a better word for “journey” or “timeline”.  Something a little more fitting.  Trek works.  Trek seems arduous, sounds kind of annoying, and I think would involve some bumpby, zig-zaggy paths that might make me cry.  Ya with me?  So here it goes.

Mr. Mags and I started trying to conceive right when we got married.  I was actually off the pill a month before we were married.  I had just turned 24 (holy cow that’s young!) and Mr. Mags was 34.  After about a year we thought maybe I should go to the Dr.  So I did and was told, “all you need is Clomid.”  Sweet.  Problem solved.  We thought, when we get really serious, we will pick up some of that Clomid stuff and have a baby. *insert raucous laughter here*

So, the timeline (with way too much detail) goes as follows:

  • Mr. Mags and I marry October of 2004.
  • TTC for 1+ year.
  • Clomid will solve all our answers. 
  • Wait, it’s 2006, how’d that happen?!?
  • April 2006 Mr. Mags and I move to our new house ready to start a family!
  • Go to new Dr. that doesn’t have dogs in their office who barge in right in the middle of your yearly lady parts exam. (I kid you not.  And I love dogs.)
  • Again, Clomid will solve all of our problems!  Try 5 rounds with absolutely no monitoring. *what a newbie I was* Oh yea, and I have PCOS.
  • Mr. Mags does SA-all normal.  In fact, very impressive. *high-fives himself*  Big sigh of relief.
  • September 2006 go to Dr. because of terrible pain in my lower abdomen.  Receive first vaginal ultrasound.  Proceed to feel very adult and grown up because of this.
  • September 26, 2006 (I remember because it was so close to my birthday) get a call from my Dr. telling me I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured and also I have a bicornuate uterus.  A bicornu-what?  Proceed to cry for hours.
  • October 2006 have HSG – Yep, severe bicornuate uterus.  Proceed to cry on the exam table while my Dr. tells me, “it’s ok honey, that’s what surrogates are for.”
  • Take a break from TTC.
  • Adopt our beloved B-Dog, after all I need something to take care of.
  • Mid 2007 meet with RE. He suggests we go straight to IVF.  Cry the whole way home from the appointment.  How can people put a price tag like that on having a family?!? Start saving money.
  • October 1, 2007, I become a product of the ever crashing housing market and get laid off.  Proceed to cry.
  • October 31, 2007, Mr. Mags becomes a product of the ever crashing housing market and gets laid off.  Cry some more.
  • Crap.
  • December 2007 Mr. Mags and I decide to move to my home town (yippie!) since that is where we really wanted to settle anyway.  We take B-Dog, Z-Cat, P-Cat and G-Cat and move in with my parents.  (yippie…?)  Put baby making plans on hold.
  • January 2008-new jobs!
  • February 2009 we move into our own place-finally!
  • March 2009 make an appointment with new RE and get a plan mapped out. 
  • New RE orders MRI to confirm Bicornuate uterus.  Diagnosis: NOT severe, very mild, shouldn’t be an issue.
  • April 2009 Mr. Mags gets laid off…again.  (Seriously, you would think we would learn to stay OUT of the housing market by now.) Put all baby making plans on hold…again.
  • September 2009, holy crap, I’m pregnant-naturally!! 
  • September 11, 2009, miscarry at a 1 year olds birthday party.  Cry like a 1 year old.
  • Go to new OBGYN (love him!) and try 5 rounds of monitored clomid with estrogen.  Ovulate once.  BFN.
  • Meet with new-new RE (love him!).  From here on out we will call him Dr. T. *hello gorgeous*
  • October 2010 begin 3 rounds of IUI with Femara and Estradiol.  Grow follicles each time.  All BFN.  These were “special” holidays, very fun.
  • February 16, 2011 Begin acupuncture and stims.  Gonal F 300 IU, Luveris 75 IU, baby Aspirin and prenatal.  Later introduce Ganirelix.
  • February 27, 2011 egg retrieval – 22 Eggs!!
  • Hello OHSS.
  • Fertilization report – 12 mature, 10 fertilized-7 normal.  3 “good” make it to blast. 
  • March 5, 2011 – transfer 1 blast, freeze 2.  Transfer involved a shot to my cervix and a cervical clamp.  Yowch!
  • Beta Day – 26.  Next beta – 95! Wha-hoo!  Next beta-70.  Doh. Chemical.  More tears.
  • May 2011 – FET
  • Smooth transfer-thank GOD.
  • Beta Day – 120 *Squeel!!*  Next Beta – 260  *Squeeeeeeeeeeellll!!!*  Start spotting.  Miscarry at 6 weeks.  Big giant crocodile tears.  For days.
  • OMG this is a long timeline.
  • WTF appointment – most likely the luck of the draw, although my egg quality is not the greatest.  Toss around ideas for the next cycle.  Leave feeling very defeated.
  • New plan of attack: Lose weight, exercise, continue with acupuncture and have sex for FUN (huh?) until IVF #2 in January 2010.  

So this is where I am now.  In the limbo stage.  Waiting to cycle again, trying to work on myself.  And seriously, if you read this whole timeline you’re super nice.  And I sincerely thank you. 

Question for you though.  How do you guys get through the limbo time?  Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. 

4 comments:

  1. Hey Mags - I just read what you've posted so far and it's good to hear your stories or infertile thoughts, I should say. I am also Episcopalian, but haven't felt much like going to church the last 3 years since dealing with infertility. I've also had those feelings of not fitting in at my niece's or nephew's birthday parties. I try to avoid them or not stay too long. Sounds like you've been through alot over the last few years, but you are weathering the storms well and hopefully you'll be at your destination soon! I'm right there with ya! Looking forward to more posts!

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  2. Hi Turtle Mama-thanks so much for posting! It means a lot to know that there is someone out there somewhere that has taken interest in my story. I plan on checking out your blog too! Thanks again :) thoughts and prayers *gasp* (it's been a while) are with you!

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  3. STAY busy!!! Do whatever, whenever you can. The limbo is so much harder than actual treatment cycles for me. I am a planner and nee to be actively doing something! We have <1% on our own so non-treatment cycles are useless to us.

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  4. Thanks amiracel4us, I'm a total planner too! Time to fill up the calendar!

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